The truth is, I have done very little over the past two days and now this being my third day off, am panicking a little.
I have experienced something this weekend which I think I have not for some time and that is a feeling of loneliness. Feelings about a relationship breakdown came to the surface and I had to face the disappointment, anger and sadness. Sometimes you do just want to blame another person for what has happened but there is a little whispering voice that reminds you of just how equal a role you did play in the dance. It is painful, it is bloody annoying, but it is the truth.
A phone call to an old friend turned into a shared rant about our partners. Mainly anger at ourselves for sticking around so long, due to fears, lack of self esteem and denial.
After this baring of the soul however, I felt a glimmer of hope, release and refreshment coursing through the old veins. A bit like refreshing the computer page, the old stuff remains but there is something to move onto.
So I trundled up the stairs and did something I had been avoiding for ages. Getting this little cupboard out of the junk mass and attempting to re-position it on my landing.
It has an annoying quirk, in that the lower shelf just meets with the top of the box double plug on the wall, so you are unable to use the plug nor push the cabinet against the wall, so it is a wobbling away from the wall.
I knew the cupboard/cabinet needed to be raised by at least 1/2 inch to clear the plug, so I cast around for something to achieve this. Frustratingly I could find very little, due to chaotic tendencies. In the end however, I chanced upon a peculiar looking saw (from Tchibo) and a slat for a single bed.
I managed, with much huffing and puffing, and the odd curse, to finally saw two equal lengths of wood to place under the cupboard. To my surprise (and relief), it worked!
I then relocated some baskets which fitted very nicely into the shelving area.
Now this cupboard is very old, hand made by a distant relative (or so I understand) and while I believe it would look nicer painted or at least lighter, I would feel a tremendous amount of guilt that I had spoiled someone's careful and very detailed work. This is it!
